Happy Halloween!
What is it about this holiday? Do we love being scared or is it just the candy? Is it the kids being cute in their costumes? Or is it the costumes we adults get to wear? Hey, maybe that's it....
A chance to pretend that we're someone else. Who doesn't like to do that? We don't get a chance to do that very often.... become a different person. To have others regard us with a sense of awe and mystery. Mundane becomes terrifying, blah becomes sexy.
No costume for me today. Okay, so I'm wearing my new zombie tee shirt. It was a gift from a friend that knows me well. But no REAL costume. Becoming a different person is something I try and practice everyday now. Being a better person. It's not terrifying, it's not sexy, it's just me.
The kids in my neighborhood will ask me why I didn't dress up as I hand out candy this year.
" You're not scary like you used to be."
You got that right, kids, you got that right.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
You want fries with that?
At the age of 42 I started a new career. In December 2006 I went to work for a radio company. The station I work for is a great training ground for me. A talk station with a lot of sports programing. I would love to do something a little more creative in radio eventually, but for now this suits me fine.
The people I work with are great. Lots of different personalities and egos. Keeps things interesting.
Recently, I was producing a show and one of my co-workers was doing some work on the computer in my studio. We were chatting as we were working and I looked over at the screen he was working on. Corey had finished whatever he was doing and had gotten on the Internet. It was a real estate web site. No big deal about that, but a picture of one of the agents caught my attention. It was a picture of a woman in her mid to late 50s. Her dress was an awful blue color with sequins, and her hair was bleach blond and spiked. The makeup really set me off though. Dark rouge on her cheeks, bright red lipstick, drawn on eyebrows, and thick blue eye shadow that matched her dress. I started to laugh.
" Let me guess. She's a real estate agent and part time hooker", I said. "Or a whore that sells real estate on the side." I laughed some more. I really crack myself up.
Corey just looked at me. He wasn't getting the joke. I pushed on.
" I mean look at her. If that's not a hooker.... don't you just love the dress?"
Corey had now started to laugh. My comedy magic was working.
" The makeup is what gives her away. No self respecting woman wears makeup like that. That face has seen some hard times."
I was on a roll. I had Corey doubled over. He was trying to speak. "Oh, man, you're killing me!" he said. "You have no idea!"
"Idea about what?" I asked. "The whore? She is a whore, isn't she?"
Breathing was becoming a problem for Corey. He was laughing so hard his face had turned bright red. He managed to get a few words out.
"Dude, it's so sad..... I can't tell you....."
"Let me guess", I said. "She's a one legged hooker, right? That's what's so sad. A one legged old fucking hooker."
"I can't tell you. You'll feel bad. But, oh God, that's funny", he said.
"Just tell me, Corey..... what's the story on the skank?"
Her wouldn't tell me. He just laughed and laughed. I finally wore him down.
"Okay, I'll tell you. But you're going to feel bad."
"What? She's dying of AIDS."
"No, no, no" he said, still laughing. "That picture..... that's my mother."
You know the feeling when the blood drains from your face?
I spent the next several hours telling Corey how sorry I was. For days after, people in the halls at work would ask me how Corey's mom was.
Well, some time has passed. Life moves on. And Corey was just promoted today. He's now my boss. I'm sure his mother is very proud.
I wonder if they're hiring at McDonalds....
The people I work with are great. Lots of different personalities and egos. Keeps things interesting.
Recently, I was producing a show and one of my co-workers was doing some work on the computer in my studio. We were chatting as we were working and I looked over at the screen he was working on. Corey had finished whatever he was doing and had gotten on the Internet. It was a real estate web site. No big deal about that, but a picture of one of the agents caught my attention. It was a picture of a woman in her mid to late 50s. Her dress was an awful blue color with sequins, and her hair was bleach blond and spiked. The makeup really set me off though. Dark rouge on her cheeks, bright red lipstick, drawn on eyebrows, and thick blue eye shadow that matched her dress. I started to laugh.
" Let me guess. She's a real estate agent and part time hooker", I said. "Or a whore that sells real estate on the side." I laughed some more. I really crack myself up.
Corey just looked at me. He wasn't getting the joke. I pushed on.
" I mean look at her. If that's not a hooker.... don't you just love the dress?"
Corey had now started to laugh. My comedy magic was working.
" The makeup is what gives her away. No self respecting woman wears makeup like that. That face has seen some hard times."
I was on a roll. I had Corey doubled over. He was trying to speak. "Oh, man, you're killing me!" he said. "You have no idea!"
"Idea about what?" I asked. "The whore? She is a whore, isn't she?"
Breathing was becoming a problem for Corey. He was laughing so hard his face had turned bright red. He managed to get a few words out.
"Dude, it's so sad..... I can't tell you....."
"Let me guess", I said. "She's a one legged hooker, right? That's what's so sad. A one legged old fucking hooker."
"I can't tell you. You'll feel bad. But, oh God, that's funny", he said.
"Just tell me, Corey..... what's the story on the skank?"
Her wouldn't tell me. He just laughed and laughed. I finally wore him down.
"Okay, I'll tell you. But you're going to feel bad."
"What? She's dying of AIDS."
"No, no, no" he said, still laughing. "That picture..... that's my mother."
You know the feeling when the blood drains from your face?
I spent the next several hours telling Corey how sorry I was. For days after, people in the halls at work would ask me how Corey's mom was.
Well, some time has passed. Life moves on. And Corey was just promoted today. He's now my boss. I'm sure his mother is very proud.
I wonder if they're hiring at McDonalds....
Monday, October 22, 2007
Bad Time To Be In Love
Together. As if in silent prayer.
And whenever I looked out, you were there.
Love flowed from our hearts.
How could we ever,
Stand to be apart?
Don't throw your faith in others away,
Because we have ended this way.
Don't ever think I don't care about you,
What you've always know is true.
It always seems sad, things have to change.
Like our feelings, let's not look for blame.
After all is said and done, I am the sorry one.
Why must we hurt the people we love?
It's like my destiny falls on me from above.
I love you but I can't hang on anymore.
I love you but I can't stay anymore --- Single Gun Theory, Surrender
Yeah, that pretty much says it.
I'm dealing with a broken heart. Met a woman that I believe is my soul mate. I fell in love. I proclaimed my love. She was taken aback and later realized she loves me. The problem? She is married. For ten years. And still loves her husband.
We talked and talked, tried to make things work, wrestled with the situation and our feelings, did not cave in and sleep together, cried and laughed and cried some more.
It became too much for me. I am in the middle of rebuilding my life. All this came at a great and terrible time. "A bad time to be in love"--- Grand Funk Railroad. Me and song lyrics.......
So, the other day, I had to tell her I couldn't talk to her anymore. Or at least for a long while. I will always love her and be her friend. But I have to move away from this.... it's killing me.
She said she understood, said she was proud of me. In my heart of hearts I wanted her to beg me to be with her. But she loves me. She wants what's best for me. I want what's best for her.
If this is the best thing for both of us, why does it hurt so fucking bad?
Well, I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself..... okay, so I am, a little. But, in the big picture, things are good. I'm a pretty lucky cat. And the future is always uncertain. Who knows what the next day will bring. I know what I wish it would bring......
And whenever I looked out, you were there.
Love flowed from our hearts.
How could we ever,
Stand to be apart?
Don't throw your faith in others away,
Because we have ended this way.
Don't ever think I don't care about you,
What you've always know is true.
It always seems sad, things have to change.
Like our feelings, let's not look for blame.
After all is said and done, I am the sorry one.
Why must we hurt the people we love?
It's like my destiny falls on me from above.
I love you but I can't hang on anymore.
I love you but I can't stay anymore --- Single Gun Theory, Surrender
Yeah, that pretty much says it.
I'm dealing with a broken heart. Met a woman that I believe is my soul mate. I fell in love. I proclaimed my love. She was taken aback and later realized she loves me. The problem? She is married. For ten years. And still loves her husband.
We talked and talked, tried to make things work, wrestled with the situation and our feelings, did not cave in and sleep together, cried and laughed and cried some more.
It became too much for me. I am in the middle of rebuilding my life. All this came at a great and terrible time. "A bad time to be in love"--- Grand Funk Railroad. Me and song lyrics.......
So, the other day, I had to tell her I couldn't talk to her anymore. Or at least for a long while. I will always love her and be her friend. But I have to move away from this.... it's killing me.
She said she understood, said she was proud of me. In my heart of hearts I wanted her to beg me to be with her. But she loves me. She wants what's best for me. I want what's best for her.
If this is the best thing for both of us, why does it hurt so fucking bad?
Well, I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself..... okay, so I am, a little. But, in the big picture, things are good. I'm a pretty lucky cat. And the future is always uncertain. Who knows what the next day will bring. I know what I wish it would bring......
Friday, October 19, 2007
So it begins.....
Just another blog from someone who feels he has something to say.
This is my first post on this site. I had a myspace account that I posted on quite often, but I had to give it up. Long story.... perhaps I'll post more about it at a later time.
I find blogging to be very helpful in my thought process. You write something, go back months later to read it, and realize just how full of shit you are. Great fun.
So, at this moment, I've got millions of things running through my head that I need to get out. I'll just settle for this little post here.
Welcome. For now, this will be open to all. Here's to hoping I can be open with myself.
To thine own self be true.
This is my first post on this site. I had a myspace account that I posted on quite often, but I had to give it up. Long story.... perhaps I'll post more about it at a later time.
I find blogging to be very helpful in my thought process. You write something, go back months later to read it, and realize just how full of shit you are. Great fun.
So, at this moment, I've got millions of things running through my head that I need to get out. I'll just settle for this little post here.
Welcome. For now, this will be open to all. Here's to hoping I can be open with myself.
To thine own self be true.
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