IS THAT ALL THERE IS?

I was recently rewatching parts of "From the Earth to the Moon". It's an HBO mini-series that came out several years ago about the U.S.A. Apollo space program. It's one of the finest mini-series I have ever seen. If you liked "The Right Stuff" and "Apollo 13", this is a fine companion piece to both these films.

One of the episodes is entitled "Is That All There Is". It's my favorite of the series. The episode centers on the Apollo 12 mission, the second moon landing. More specificly it is from the perspective of astronaut Alan Bean, the fourth man to set foot on the moon.

After spending two days on the moon with mission commander Pete Conrad, the astronauts had redocked with the Command Capsule and were preparing for the trip home. Bean was staring out the window at the lunar surface when Conrad asked him what was up.

" Is that all there is?", Bean said.

" Ya know, Al Bean.... I was just thinking the same thing", was Conrads reply.

Here were two men that had just taken the greatest journey in human history. They had spent two days walking on the moon, 280,000 miles from Earth. And what were they thinking?

Is that all there is?

I blogged about this very subject on MySpace almost a year ago. It keeps coming up in my head.
I mean, if you can go to the moon... do something only a handfull of people have ever done... then pose that question... what do I say about my life? I'll never do something that extrodinary, ever.
I look out the window all the time and think... is that all there is? Would I still think that way if I...

won the lottery?
found a cure for cancer?
had children?
became famous?

walked on the moon?

The evidence would seem to indicate that I might.
Are we really that hollow inside that the events in our lives, great and small, still leave us wanting more?

I wonder if there are any people that don't ask that question. They find what they are looking for in things like family, friends, faith, golf...... but maybe, in a quiet moment alone, they look out at the horizon and think.... is that all there is?

At the end of the episode, Alan Bean comes to the realization that the only things we really have are the moments we spend with the people we love. And really.... that's all there is. Is that just one, big rationalization? Could be. But it's one that I hang on to.

You see.... I don't play golf. I've never had children. I'm not sure if I believe in God or not. I will never cure cancer. And I will never walk on the moon.
But I will have a house full of friends this weekend. We'll shoot pool, eat chicken wings, watch football, and laugh and talk and laugh.

And that's really all there is.

Dai Senryaku 7 : Modern Military Tactics

About a year and a half ago I reentered the world of video games. A friend sold me his old XBox and I was off and running.

Before this I was out of the loop for quite some time. My last video game system was a Super Nintendo. I loved it. Most of the games at that time involved collecting coins and jumping over dangerous turtles. I preferred strategy games and there were a few good ones.

Before that, there were a number of game systems that came and went, including the old Atari "Pong". That was my first home video game. Black and white screen, little square ball going back and forth. The simple pleasures of being simple. Mom would spend hours mopping up the brain matter we would leave around the T.V.

But those days are gone and while the XBox is not the current top of the line system out there, it's pretty good. The graphics are impressive, the game play is smooth and easy to master, and most of the stories are imaginative and clever (this is why Hollywood has taken to making movies out of games.... and in typical Hollywood fashion, screwing them up...). The games are great. Oh, the games....

The first person shooters like "Halo" (those are the ones that "progressive" thinkers will tell you are causing high schoolers to kill each other in class....... please....). Sports games like the popular "Madden" series. RPGs (Role Playing Games) like "Knights of the Old Republic".... becoming a Jedi OR a Sith Lord in a time set before the "Star Wars" films.

Is it any wonder why kids get hooked on these things?

I will say this about the games though.... the ones you hear about on T.V or where ever.... the most popular ones.... are not my favorites. Oh, they have their appeal. But I've always been attracted to stuff that's a little off the radar. That means getting on the internet to see what's interesting. I've even ordered a game or two from Ebay. Games even a hardcore gamer has never heard of. Games like "Dai Senryaku 7: Modern Military Tactics".

Quite simply one of the greatest video games I have ever, or will ever, play. And no one has ever heard of it.

I'm not going to bore you with the details of the game. If you are reading this and want more info, post a comment. Or, even better, look up the game in a "Google" search.
If you have even a minor interest in modern warfare, the weapons used, and how it is fought, seek this game out. You will never watch news footage of a world conflict the same way again.

And don't jump to the conclusion that this game, in any way, glorifies war. It's not about graphic deaths. It doesn't judge the politics of the countries involved. It is as pure a war game as.... well, chess. But with attack helicopters, computer jamming electronics, and Harpoon missiles.

I love my XBox. I don't get to play it much, but with games like DS7:MMT, there is a lot less brain matter to mop up after a gaming session.

CLOVERFIELD

The new hot movie is "Cloverfield". Well, new and hot to a super hero, sci-fi, fantasy, monster movie fan like me. Don't get me wrong. I'm down with a chick flic now and then. I love me the Woody Allen. "The Remains of the Day" is one of my all time favorites. But deep in my heart? I'll take a light saber battle, zombies, and Hobbits fighting orcs any day of the week. The ABCs of me.

In case you don't know, "Cloverfield" is about a giant monster that attacks New York City. I tell this to friends and their eyes glaze over and roll up into their heads. "Sounds great, Mikey", they say with the sarcasm dripping off their lips. That's okay. I have other friends that get excited like me about such things. And off we went to see Manhattan get eaten.

Manhattan didn't really get eaten. It got pulverized. It got reshaped. It got whacked. And in a very realistic way.

The film is told from a personal point of view.... i.e. a video camera. It follows a small group of friends as they try to rescue one of their own while a giant monster attacks the city. Not with daring stunts or outrageous gadgets. They walk through the devastation with tears in their eyes and confusion on their faces. Covered in dust, they stand there unable to speak. They break down.
Yeah, it's a lot like 9/11. A LOT LIKE 9/11. Which is why I think I liked it as much as I did.

There is not much of a plot. The characters are yuppies. You don't see much of the monster.
But now that we as a country are schooled about what massive destruction in a major city really looks like.... you can't help but get caught up in the plight of these wayward souls. It's not about what the army is doing. It's not about where the creature came from or why it's there. It's not about the fate of the planet. It's personal. And it works as a film.

Lot's of people will pass on this one because it's about a monster that attacks NYC. They will miss a very exciting, scary movie that at it's heart is warm, tragic, and at times, touching.

A Late Night Post

I'm up late and at work. Why? Not much happening tonight and I thought I'd get some work done.
The work is done and I'm sitting here reflecting on the past week. Let's see what blowing around inside the tornado in my head.

During the sports talk show I produce in the morning we had some cheerleaders from a major league sports team in studio. They came in wearing their little cheerleading uniforms. To say that all the men in this building were worked up during their visit would be a grotesque understatement. I was just as guilty as the rest. I told the host that I bet I could get them to dance. He shot me a look that said " No way you pull that off, idiot". As we came out of a commercial break I played The Offsprings "Pretty Fly (for a white guy)". All their pretty little heads turned to me, overly white teeth flashing, and they started to dance. They're cheerleaders. I knew they wouldn't be able to help themselves. After they left, I went outside and had a cigarette.

I saw The Blue Man Group this week. I was always under the impression that I hated The Blue Man Group. But after going to the show I will say now and for the record.... I love The Blue Man Group! Impossible to describe the show. If you've seen it, you know.

We had a remote for our radio station at a local blood bank. I was the host for one of the shows. I went early to give blood. I knew I was overdue to give because the blood bank had called me several times in the past couple of weeks. I went to the bank early to donate. So, as I was getting my paper work done, the lady behind the counter smiled at me and said "You are now a member of our 1 gallon club!"
"Excuse me?"
"Our records show that with this pint you have donated a gallon of blood. You get a licence plate frame!"
I don't like to pat myself on the back, but I'm damn proud of that frame.....

I talked to some friends I hadn't talked to in awhile. I worry about a woman in the mountains.
I'm going to see "Cloverfield" this weekend.

And now I'm very tired and it's time to go home and go to bed. I will be sitting in this very same chair in about 6 hours. No words of wisdom to end this post..... just good night.....

The River Flows

There is a short story in the beginning of the book Illusions by Richard Bach. It goes a little something like this...


There was a river. At the bottom of the river were little creatures whos only purpose was to cling to the rocks and plants there.
One day one of the little creatures said to the others "I wonder what would happen if I let go?"
The other creatures were horrified. "You'll be taken by the current and smashed by the rocks in the river! Never let go!" But the one little creature thought that there must be more to life than just clinging to the bottom. So, he summoned all his will and let go. And the current picked him up, took him very rapidly down river, and he was smashed into the rocks.

The little creature was banged up and bruised, but he was alive and the current once again took him down stream and he hit another rock. Shaken, but not discouraged, he pushed away from the rock and down stream he went again. After awhile the little creature realized that while he was at the mercy of the river, he could wiggle and turn just enough to avoid the rocks. He became one with the water and loved his new freedom in traveling the river.

After a time he saw other little creatures clinging to the river bed. When they saw him they were amazed. "Behold the miracle! One of us flies! It's a miracle!" they said.
As the little creature floated by, he yelled a response to the others.

"It's not a miracle. I just let go."

********************************************************

I may have messed the story up a little but the point is there.

Letting go is a hard thing to do. Getting smashed by the rocks sucks. But the longer I go along with the river, the easier the journey becomes.

Sometimes I look back and see others that I wish would let go. They could come with me on the adventure. But I understand why they still cling. It makes me sad.

And I can't keep looking back.

There are rocks to avoid.

The First Post Of 2008

It's a new year.

When I sit and reflect on 2007 I see ups and downs, rights and lefts, rights and wrongs. Over all I think that I came out on the plus side of things this year. Scratch that.... I KNOW I came out on the plus side. So as the final hours of the year marched down I was feeling pretty good about myself. Things could be much worse, I thought. Then they got worse.
I'm not going to go into detail about what happened. I'm not going to blame anyone. But this was one of the worst New Years Eves on record. By 10pm the night was shattered. At 11:30pm there was a woman at my feet having a full blown seizure. Her fists curled up into tight little balls, legs kicking, eyes rolled up in her head, blood and spit pouring from her mouth. As I was on my cell phone talking to 911 and guiding the paramedics to where we were, I was thinking "Is this an omen? And if it is an omen, what does it mean? Jesus, lady, don't die on me. It would really ruin my 2008."
I know what you're thinking.... self absorbed much? Guilty. Here was a woman fighting for her life and all I could think of was how it would affect me. I quickly put these thoughts on the back burner and got my attention back to the task at hand.
The other people that were in the room were freaking in every direction. One guy came running up to help with a cupcake in his hand. He held it out. Everyone just stared at him. He looked confused, then turned and walked away. Others tried to force pens and spoons into the womans mouth, but she was having none of it. Her teeth were clenched tight, blood and foam oozing from the gaps.
A short time later the paramedics arrived. Thank God. Their cool heads calmed the room. They took control of the situation, got the woman to come around, and then hauled her off to the ER. It looked like she was going to be okay. I was a little less than okay. I went and sat in the corner.
Midnight came. Fireworks exploding, pots and pans being banged, people yelling and hugging and kissing. I sat quietly and asked God to watch over the seizure woman, whos name I didn't even know. After a time, I got up, drove home, and went to bed. Happy New Year.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is. A good year, some bad moments, and a new year coming.

A great and happy new year to you all.